I am thinking about stepping down from my position as a bureaucrat. I feel that I'm just ignored most of the time because I am. I don't enjoy it. I have a condition where I always feel as if I'm alone. It's a true thing called chronic loneliness. It's one of my deepest secrets and this is the first time I've ever even made it public. That's why I want to be alone when I'm like this. I won't be able to hurt anyone else to match the way I hurt. Since I always have this feeling, I try hard to make friends and it fails. Then I apologize and I feel horrible since I feel I'm being annoying. There you go. I just summarized my feelings for the first time.
That's why I'm considering leaving. I don't know. I'm still thinking.